Sunday came and I was tired of sitting around the house. Maybe it was an unrecognized burst of energy. I was going out, my husband could come if he wanted. Possibly the Chinese dinner at lunch started everything, but it was getting harder to manage my body by just wiggling my hips. Conversations in the afternoon were interrupted by me learning to ride the waves that were starting. My husband watched and waited, trusting that I could do this and would ask for help as I needed it. At supper I ate little - I didn’t want to be throwing it all back up - so I opted for the protein.
As I could no longer sit for the waves, we kicked everyone out of the house (we live in a multigenerational household) and prepared for our wee one to arrive. The midwife told us via phone this part of the waves could last for a while and offered to come if we wanted her there. We knew she’d just be an extra body at this point so we figured out how o best manage, with my husband counting out my breathing and giving me small goals.
The bath was a great option to the racers’ block stance that was also working for me. As we fell into a rhythm and knew it might be a long night, with promises of asking for help when needed we decided my husband should got to bed so that one of us would be fresh.
I got back in the tub. I was able to completely relax and almost drifted to sleep. I felt the wee one move and then my water broke. I was almost afraid to open my eyes. I had been passing small amounts of blood and didn't know what to expect with this and thought perhaps I’d be laying in red water. But it was clear with bits of vernex floating in the water.
The waves changed after my water broke. I’ve never felt such intensity... not pain, intensity... it consumed my entire being. My water broke at 12:40am, I rinsed off, got out of the tub and headed to wake up my husband. Neither of us wanted to go through this part alone. He thought I was wet from sweat and felt horrible for leaving me alone, but after explaining and reassuring him I’d kept the promise to seek help when needed all was well.
He called the midwives at about 1am. We got back in the tub and he massaged my back with water, focusing me through the intense waves until the midwives arrived at 2am. We moved to the bed to check my dilation ~ I was fully dilated, we were good to go. The midwife asked if we were getting back in the tub. Since we had no hard fast plan about where the birth would happen and I was so comfortable on my side on the bed, I informed them that I was not going to move.
I was reminded to keep my sounds low... squealing causes tension, not relaxation. A grace through these waves was the thoughts that I can do all things, because I am strengthened, and that I am strong because I was created to do this. One of my fears was that I would feel alone spiritually through the birth, but my Creator whispered grace in my ears. As I reflected one these thoughts and that I was not alone, the intensity of each wave would be more manageable. Such a grace God gave me.
My husband was always available for a kiss or water or whatever I needed. In wisdom he asked me only questions with one word answers. He was my guardian in so many ways. The last hour passed quite quickly with my hand on my vulva the entire time. Most of the sensations were around my anus (I felt like I was having a bowel movement) so I was surprised with how far forward our wee one’s head was. Her hair was long and sticking out. My husband said it was a strange sight. The hardest part for me was pushing through the stinging and burning of crowning. That part hurt like the worst snake bite my uncles ever gave me as a child.
Head first and trying to make noise, our wee one came into this world at 2:47am. She was wide eyed and taking everything in. She had a grasp of her head and tried to look around. We held her and blessed her. To me she smelt like a science lab and I thought she looked like her dad. It was wonderful to spend the next two days with just the 3 of us snuggled up in bed, taking in the newness of our lives.
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