Sunday came and I was tired of sitting around the house. Maybe it was an unrecognized burst of energy. I was going out, my husband could come if he wanted. Possibly the Chinese dinner at lunch started everything, but it was getting harder to manage my body by just wiggling my hips. Conversations in the afternoon were interrupted by me learning to ride the waves that were starting. My husband watched and waited, trusting that I could do this and would ask for help as I needed it. At supper I ate little - I didn’t want to be throwing it all back up - so I opted for the protein.
As I could no longer sit for the waves, we kicked everyone out of the house (we live in a multigenerational household) and prepared for our wee one to arrive. The midwife told us via phone this part of the waves could last for a while and offered to come if we wanted her there. We knew she’d just be an extra body at this point so we figured out how o best manage, with my husband counting out my breathing and giving me small goals.
The bath was a great option to the racers’ block stance that was also working for me. As we fell into a rhythm and knew it might be a long night, with promises of asking for help when needed we decided my husband should got to bed so that one of us would be fresh.
I got back in the tub. I was able to completely relax and almost drifted to sleep. I felt the wee one move and then my water broke. I was almost afraid to open my eyes. I had been passing small amounts of blood and didn't know what to expect with this and thought perhaps I’d be laying in red water. But it was clear with bits of vernex floating in the water.
The waves changed after my water broke. I’ve never felt such intensity... not pain, intensity... it consumed my entire being. My water broke at 12:40am, I rinsed off, got out of the tub and headed to wake up my husband. Neither of us wanted to go through this part alone. He thought I was wet from sweat and felt horrible for leaving me alone, but after explaining and reassuring him I’d kept the promise to seek help when needed all was well.
He called the midwives at about 1am. We got back in the tub and he massaged my back with water, focusing me through the intense waves until the midwives arrived at 2am. We moved to the bed to check my dilation ~ I was fully dilated, we were good to go. The midwife asked if we were getting back in the tub. Since we had no hard fast plan about where the birth would happen and I was so comfortable on my side on the bed, I informed them that I was not going to move.
I was reminded to keep my sounds low... squealing causes tension, not relaxation. A grace through these waves was the thoughts that I can do all things, because I am strengthened, and that I am strong because I was created to do this. One of my fears was that I would feel alone spiritually through the birth, but my Creator whispered grace in my ears. As I reflected one these thoughts and that I was not alone, the intensity of each wave would be more manageable. Such a grace God gave me.
My husband was always available for a kiss or water or whatever I needed. In wisdom he asked me only questions with one word answers. He was my guardian in so many ways. The last hour passed quite quickly with my hand on my vulva the entire time. Most of the sensations were around my anus (I felt like I was having a bowel movement) so I was surprised with how far forward our wee one’s head was. Her hair was long and sticking out. My husband said it was a strange sight. The hardest part for me was pushing through the stinging and burning of crowning. That part hurt like the worst snake bite my uncles ever gave me as a child.
Head first and trying to make noise, our wee one came into this world at 2:47am. She was wide eyed and taking everything in. She had a grasp of her head and tried to look around. We held her and blessed her. To me she smelt like a science lab and I thought she looked like her dad. It was wonderful to spend the next two days with just the 3 of us snuggled up in bed, taking in the newness of our lives.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Birth of Bella - By Christina
Birth Story:
It’s interesting for me to reflect on our journey that led us to natural childbirth using the Bradley method. Before getting pregnant, I always thought people were crazy for not wanting medicinal relief for the pain of childbirth. Whenever I’d hear about a very long or difficult labor, I would always ask “She had an epidural, right?!” But once I became pregnant and I began to seriously think about our choices now that they were no longer hypothetical, but actually applied to me, then everything changed. For one, I realized that giving birth would be probably the biggest, most life-changing event that I will ever experience, and I didn’t want to miss out on any part of it, the pain included. It's something that women have experienced all through the ages, like a rite of passage, and I wanted to experience it too. I thought it would be very empowering, not to mention how much better and safer it is for the baby. So I started looking into natural childbirth methods, and found a discussion on an online forum about the Bradley Method. I found a local teacher and we began attending the classes when I was only 15 weeks along. The Bradley Method classes taught us so much about pregnancy, labor, birth, child care, breastfeeding, etc. We also learned about a lot of hospital practices that we did not like or agree with at all. By the end of the 12 week class, we decided that our obstetrician wasn't as supportive of our birth wishes as we’d like and that the hospital was not the ideal birth setting for me. So we looked into a local birthing center, but I still did not feel like I would be completely comfortable there either. Which left only one other alternative - home birth. When I was 30 weeks along in my pregnancy, we found a fantastic midwife who we had complete trust in.
My due date was February 18, but Bella had other plans. I’d been having Braxton Hicks contractions almost constantly for the previous week. They didn’t feel like much, the only reason I knew I was having them was because my stomach felt rock hard whenever I would lay my hand on it. My first mildly painful contractions woke me up at about 2:30a.m. on February 14. I couldn't tell if my stomach was upset or if I was having contractions. So I laid in bed for a while then decided to get up and try going to the bathroom. When I saw a little bit of blood I knew that this was no stomach ache. I went downstairs and timed my contractions for about an hour and a half before waking up my husband to tell him that yes, I was definitely in labor. They were anywhere from 2-5 minutes apart and mild, and each one lasted about a minute. I felt a bit of urgency because they were so close together, so at about 4:00a.m. he called our midwife, who said that it was still pretty early and we should just try to get some sleep if we can, eat, take a shower, etc. So I ate and tried to lie back down, but the pains were pretty uncomfortable at this point and were more intense lying down. I decided to take a shower, which felt nice with the contractions, but I had to cut it short 1) because we needed to save the hot water for the birthing tub, and 2) I threw up what I had just eaten. After that, I managed my contractions quietly for several hours, kept trying to eat, kept throwing up what I was trying to eat. At 7:30 our midwife called to check in. I was feeling even more urgency at this point, because of all the vomiting…I kept thinking that vomiting was a sign of transition. But she didn’t think I was that far along, probably because of the simple fact that I was still talking. She just told us to call her when we wanted her to come by.
I was having harder contractions every couple of minutes. My husband was running around getting food for me and trying to get the tub ready, so I was laboring on my own and he would check in every few minutes. With each contraction my natural response was to tense up – curl my toes, ball up my hands into fists, stomp my foot, etc. But remembering what we learned and practiced for all these months, I would close my eyes and consciously allow every muscle in my body to go limp. By 9:30 I asked my husband to call our midwife and ask her to come over. Then he went back to getting the tub ready. At this point I was very uncomfortable and couldn’t find any position that helped. After throwing up a few more times, I stayed in the bathroom by myself since the toilet seemed to be the most comfortable position out of the ones that I tried. Being there alone with my contractions coming right on top of each other, I started having doubts about natural birth. If I had been at a hospital I think this might have been the point where I would have requested some relief.
When our birth team finally got there around 10:30, the midwife took one look at me in the bathroom and said “you need to get in the tub.” Just merely their presence was so reassuring, I immediately regained my confidence. They weren’t overbearing, they just sat quietly in the room and would whisper encouraging words every now and then. Once I got in the tub, the warm water helped SO much. The pressure was still somewhat intense, but it was manageable. I also had my husband’s undivided attention at this point, which was also a big help. He sat outside the tub, right behind me with his hands on my shoulders, reassuring me with every contraction. I had no concept of time anymore by this point. They checked my cervix, I was dilated to 8cm with my bag of water really bulging. They checked my blood pressure and the baby’s heartbeat a couple of times, gave me some homeopathic tablets to help with the vomiting, and brought me a smoothie. I don't know how long I was in the tub, it felt like just a few minutes but in reality it must have been over an hour. At some point they told me to go use the bathroom. Out of the water my contractions were so much more painful that I had a hard time containing my discomfort verbally. When I got back they told me to go ahead and try giving a little push to see how it felt. I did, and it broke my water. After that there was nothing I could do to hold back my pushing. It's funny, I always thought that pushing and feeling the baby come out would be the most painful part, but it wasn't at all. I guess it was a combination of the water and all the adrenaline I must have had running in my body. My midwives had a mirror for me to watch, but I was so focused, I don’t think I opened my eyes once. I pushed a few times in the squatting position, then they asked me to hold back and applied some counter pressure so I could avoid tearing. I changed my position so that I was on my knees and leaning over the side of the tub. I pushed for a couple more contractions and at 12:24p.m. our beautiful baby was out! They put her in my arms, she gave a good healthy cough, took in her first breath, and started crying with a strong set of lungs. She weighed in at 8lb. 6oz., 19in long, and breastfed immediately. The whole birth was so peaceful. There were no unnecessary interventions, there was no medical staff interrupting my focus, I was in complete control the entire time and I had a birthing team who I trusted implicitly. The whole experience couldn’t have been any more perfect. I have nothing but positive memories to keep with me forever, and I actually can’t wait to have the whole experience again someday.
It’s interesting for me to reflect on our journey that led us to natural childbirth using the Bradley method. Before getting pregnant, I always thought people were crazy for not wanting medicinal relief for the pain of childbirth. Whenever I’d hear about a very long or difficult labor, I would always ask “She had an epidural, right?!” But once I became pregnant and I began to seriously think about our choices now that they were no longer hypothetical, but actually applied to me, then everything changed. For one, I realized that giving birth would be probably the biggest, most life-changing event that I will ever experience, and I didn’t want to miss out on any part of it, the pain included. It's something that women have experienced all through the ages, like a rite of passage, and I wanted to experience it too. I thought it would be very empowering, not to mention how much better and safer it is for the baby. So I started looking into natural childbirth methods, and found a discussion on an online forum about the Bradley Method. I found a local teacher and we began attending the classes when I was only 15 weeks along. The Bradley Method classes taught us so much about pregnancy, labor, birth, child care, breastfeeding, etc. We also learned about a lot of hospital practices that we did not like or agree with at all. By the end of the 12 week class, we decided that our obstetrician wasn't as supportive of our birth wishes as we’d like and that the hospital was not the ideal birth setting for me. So we looked into a local birthing center, but I still did not feel like I would be completely comfortable there either. Which left only one other alternative - home birth. When I was 30 weeks along in my pregnancy, we found a fantastic midwife who we had complete trust in.
My due date was February 18, but Bella had other plans. I’d been having Braxton Hicks contractions almost constantly for the previous week. They didn’t feel like much, the only reason I knew I was having them was because my stomach felt rock hard whenever I would lay my hand on it. My first mildly painful contractions woke me up at about 2:30a.m. on February 14. I couldn't tell if my stomach was upset or if I was having contractions. So I laid in bed for a while then decided to get up and try going to the bathroom. When I saw a little bit of blood I knew that this was no stomach ache. I went downstairs and timed my contractions for about an hour and a half before waking up my husband to tell him that yes, I was definitely in labor. They were anywhere from 2-5 minutes apart and mild, and each one lasted about a minute. I felt a bit of urgency because they were so close together, so at about 4:00a.m. he called our midwife, who said that it was still pretty early and we should just try to get some sleep if we can, eat, take a shower, etc. So I ate and tried to lie back down, but the pains were pretty uncomfortable at this point and were more intense lying down. I decided to take a shower, which felt nice with the contractions, but I had to cut it short 1) because we needed to save the hot water for the birthing tub, and 2) I threw up what I had just eaten. After that, I managed my contractions quietly for several hours, kept trying to eat, kept throwing up what I was trying to eat. At 7:30 our midwife called to check in. I was feeling even more urgency at this point, because of all the vomiting…I kept thinking that vomiting was a sign of transition. But she didn’t think I was that far along, probably because of the simple fact that I was still talking. She just told us to call her when we wanted her to come by.
I was having harder contractions every couple of minutes. My husband was running around getting food for me and trying to get the tub ready, so I was laboring on my own and he would check in every few minutes. With each contraction my natural response was to tense up – curl my toes, ball up my hands into fists, stomp my foot, etc. But remembering what we learned and practiced for all these months, I would close my eyes and consciously allow every muscle in my body to go limp. By 9:30 I asked my husband to call our midwife and ask her to come over. Then he went back to getting the tub ready. At this point I was very uncomfortable and couldn’t find any position that helped. After throwing up a few more times, I stayed in the bathroom by myself since the toilet seemed to be the most comfortable position out of the ones that I tried. Being there alone with my contractions coming right on top of each other, I started having doubts about natural birth. If I had been at a hospital I think this might have been the point where I would have requested some relief.
When our birth team finally got there around 10:30, the midwife took one look at me in the bathroom and said “you need to get in the tub.” Just merely their presence was so reassuring, I immediately regained my confidence. They weren’t overbearing, they just sat quietly in the room and would whisper encouraging words every now and then. Once I got in the tub, the warm water helped SO much. The pressure was still somewhat intense, but it was manageable. I also had my husband’s undivided attention at this point, which was also a big help. He sat outside the tub, right behind me with his hands on my shoulders, reassuring me with every contraction. I had no concept of time anymore by this point. They checked my cervix, I was dilated to 8cm with my bag of water really bulging. They checked my blood pressure and the baby’s heartbeat a couple of times, gave me some homeopathic tablets to help with the vomiting, and brought me a smoothie. I don't know how long I was in the tub, it felt like just a few minutes but in reality it must have been over an hour. At some point they told me to go use the bathroom. Out of the water my contractions were so much more painful that I had a hard time containing my discomfort verbally. When I got back they told me to go ahead and try giving a little push to see how it felt. I did, and it broke my water. After that there was nothing I could do to hold back my pushing. It's funny, I always thought that pushing and feeling the baby come out would be the most painful part, but it wasn't at all. I guess it was a combination of the water and all the adrenaline I must have had running in my body. My midwives had a mirror for me to watch, but I was so focused, I don’t think I opened my eyes once. I pushed a few times in the squatting position, then they asked me to hold back and applied some counter pressure so I could avoid tearing. I changed my position so that I was on my knees and leaning over the side of the tub. I pushed for a couple more contractions and at 12:24p.m. our beautiful baby was out! They put her in my arms, she gave a good healthy cough, took in her first breath, and started crying with a strong set of lungs. She weighed in at 8lb. 6oz., 19in long, and breastfed immediately. The whole birth was so peaceful. There were no unnecessary interventions, there was no medical staff interrupting my focus, I was in complete control the entire time and I had a birthing team who I trusted implicitly. The whole experience couldn’t have been any more perfect. I have nothing but positive memories to keep with me forever, and I actually can’t wait to have the whole experience again someday.
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